It's 2007, and by most accounts, a fairly modern time. Women have achieved a greater deal of equality in American society than at any time before, running some of the largest corporations, and comprise a large percentage of the overall workforce. Women are far more independent than previous generations and on average marry much later. Many things have changed. One tradition still lingering is whether or not a man should propose to his girlfriend without asking for her father's blessings first.
The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette published an article today about
asking your girlfriend's father for her hand in marriage. There seem to be two strong opinions about this--it's either a charming bit of etiquette, or it's insulting.
One wedding expert quoted in the article offered this assessment:
"I do not think asking permission is 'sweet.' I don't find it
adorable," said Jaclyn Geller, author of "Here Comes the Bride: Women,
Weddings, and the Marriage Mystique," a feminist critique of the
institution of marriage and who views such practices as yet another
celebration of patriarchy.
Another expert quoted in the article has this differing opinion:
"Asking the father first has changed its meaning," says Marilyn Olivera, senior editor, at TheWeddingChannel.com. "It's now a gesture of respect and good intentions, not about having to get permission."
The local families interviewed also differed on their feelings about being asked, with opinions ranging from joy to dissuading the prospective son-in-law from asking. It's an interesting read, and probably one which will trigger some emotions one way or another.