A couple of posts ago, we reminded couples to remember their guests during the planning stages. Well guests, rigth back at you. this time. Part of being a wedding guest is the wedding gift. For some reason, this causes otherwise rational people to freak out, wondering “What do we get them?” This sometimes leads to gifts which, while well intentioned, miss the mark of true appreciation.
Let us illustrate this with an anecdote. When someone we know was married, he and his wife received a number of beautiful crystal bowls, some of which were fairly expensive. These bowls were given with good intentions, but not one crystal bowl was on their registry. This was a young couple starting out—they registered for common items like a toaster oven and a hand mixer. For some time after the wedding, the dog was fed from Waterford and Tiffany crystal bowls (honestly!), if that gives you any idea of what they needed vs. what they got.
If you’re invited to a wedding, you know someone closely involved—either the couple themselves, or their parents. It’s bad etiquette for the couple to include a registry note in the invitation, but there’s no problem with them telling you if you ask. There’s an easy way to find out—call whomever you know the best, mention you just got the invitation, pass along your verbal congratulations, and just ask—”by the way, where are you/they registered?” We promise you, the couple will be thrilled you asked. In today’s mega chain retail world, most couples have registered at Target/Dayton-Hudson, Macy’s/Federated Department Stores, Sears, Wal-Mart, etc. Each chain has nationwide access to their registries, often on-line as well. In many cases, the couples are registered at more than one chain.
Easy! And very much appreciated. Do the couple a favor—stick to the list. And let the dog eat from a dog bowl.